Strengthening Empathy: A Crying Need

7 min readMay 23, 2020

The recent event of Covid-19 in India and the Amphan cyclone storm in West Bengal have brought forth extreme suffering for the poor and under-privileged. The images of migrant labourers engaged in an endless walk and the homeless people shedding tears of despair speak of their plight. Along with these the word “empathy” seems to have become more frequent. However, before I start using, abusing or misusing that word I feel there is a need to understand that word in all its depth.

Hence I would take this opportunity to explore the word by taking a deeper look within myself. This will be a very personal journey and I would be very obliged if you, the reader, become a part of it. Please be patient because this journey might be a bit long.

I will try to build up the “true” meaning of the word on the basis of some personal experiences and opinions, reached at after some introspection. Let’s begin…

One Single Organism:

I feel very convinced about the fact that throughout this universe the most repeating pattern or fact is that of harmony. The physical laws, mathematical patterns, social sciences, interdependence in nature- all bear testimony to this one fact of harmony. Unity is the one common theme behind it all. This brings me to the fact that this entire universe is just like one single organism, all parts working in close unison. The emergence of the words like “humanity”, “global”, “universal”, “animal kingdom”, “society”, “unified law” are telling the story of mankind’s journey from individualism to synergy, diversity to unity (rather unity underlying diversity). In fact the progress of mankind has been marked by larger unifications and harmonious co-existence. So, I think the case for “a single organism with all sub-parts working in harmony” is pretty convincing.

Unity and Separateness: a contradiction

But alongside unity the feeling of separateness is ever present. Separateness in the sense- I do not feel what you do and hence feel “separate” from you. So how do these two ideas of unity and separation sit together. To understand that I will take a closer look at the cause of this feeling of separateness.

Cause of feeling separate:

My most basic sensations of headache and heartache are made possible in part due to the existence of a closely connected nervous system. This communication channel is essential to the physical sensations rising from various parts of the body. This communication channel ends at the boundary of my physical body and hence I do not physically feel united with you i.e., I feel physically separate from you. The blame for separateness ultimately seems to lie upon the limited size of the nervous system.

But even in the absence of nervous system a sense of sameness exists. We become aware of events outside our body even in absence of nerves. Two lovers feel connected not because they have a physical connection (well occasionally they do) but due to a connection network that is much more subtle. When the plight of the migrant labourers is presented to me through heart-wrenching images and articles they do move me. I get a feeling that is infinitesimal compared to theirs, but of the same basic nature nevertheless.

Conceptually this later sort of communication channel is no different than the nervous system. In the nervous system one molecule affects the next carrying messages along the chain. In the “later” (due to absence of a better word) one event triggers the next creating a communication channel. Only here it is more subtle and the feelings are often very feeble; the essential nature for both is same. Thus the difference is one of degree, not of kind.

And thus the feeling of separateness exists because this later network is nowhere as strong as the nervous one.

Results of a weak communication channel:

Let me present a scenario as to what might happen if an organism has a weak communication among its various parts. I intake food that is harmful for me. My stomach immediately makes it known to me thanks to a robust nervous system. If the nervous system were weak and the communication was not proper I would have not taken preemptive measures and continued with a harmful habit. The result would be catastrophic to my body. I hope the example, though crude, clarifies the importance of a strong communication.

So what is the conclusion….

So now I draw a logical conclusion. If

i) humanity (or this universe) acts as one giant organism

ii) and an external-to-body communication channel exists

iii) and a weak communication channel within an organism is harmful

does it not follow that there is a need to strengthen this external-to-body communication?

How to make a communication stronger?

A communication is made strong by three ways.

i) The intensity of the message to be sent or sensation is increased.

ii) The channel carrying the message is made robust so the entirety of the message is carried to the end point without any loss.

iii) The receiver is made sensitive so that even a very low intensity message is detected.

The “intensity of the message” is “the plight of the migrant labourers”. God forbid, that I wish to increase its intensity. The “carrying channel” is the “images and articles”. They can be made more intense but ultimately they are not in my control. In fact both of the above two factors are outside of my control. However, the “strength of the receiver” which is actually my “sensitivity” is the only thing that I can crank up.

And now comes Empathy…and sympathy as well…

No discussion of “empathy” is complete without bringing in its twin brother “sympathy”. As an additional note to the meaning of the word “empathy”, the Oxford English Dictionary app says the following -

People often confuse the words empathy and sympathy. Empathy means ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of another’, whereas sympathy means ‘feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune’.

From this above description sympathy turns out to be the final message that is received and the outcome following it. But empathy is the sensitivity of the receiver. Sympathy is an accidental outcome depending on a lot of external factors out of my control. Empathy is me working upon whatever little is in my hand; it’s a choice not an accident. Sympathy is superficial; empathy is deep.

Sympathy is me seeing a painful image of a migrant labourer in such a plight in the wake of Covid-19 and turning up to make a meager donation. Empathy is me trying to make myself more sensitive with every passing day and making my entire life a constant service to humanity. Such a huge chasm between two words so close…

We think too much and feel too little…

Very appropriately did a magnanimous soul as Charlie Chaplin utter the words -

We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity; more than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.

I have to admit with utter shame that I do need such strong stimulus as the above image to move me into action; such insensitive and heartless have I become.

Alas! I am at a loss of methods…

Having known the minimal nature of my sensitivity and the urgent need to increase it, I am at an even dangerous turn. I know no methods to crank it up. The system of yoga does point in that direction because yoga means union. And much of my motivation to think along these lines comes from the writings of Swami Vivekananda. But I have not found some concrete instruction that sit in this posture or asana and your capability to feel will increase. Hopefully one day I will figure out the method as well.

The final stop is here.